Kindness as a Leadership Strategy

In a business culture that celebrates performance and results, kindness is often mistaken for weakness. It’s categorized as a "soft skill" or something not essential to success. Yet the leaders who leave the greatest mark on people are usually remembered because of how they made others feel.

Kindness isn't about avoiding difficult conversations or lowering expectations. In fact, the strongest leaders are both kind and accountable. They understand that treating people with consideration and dignity creates trust, and trust inspires people to do their best work.

I've experienced this truth from several different perspectives. Each experience has shaped my view of leadership and the personal brand I strive to build every day.

The Dentist

The greatest leader I ever worked for as a dental hygienist was Dr. Coverly. He was genuinely kind and authentically caring. At the same time, he wasn't afraid to stand his ground or make difficult decisions with confidence and grace.

I worked in his office one day each week. Every Wednesday, without fail, I walked through the staff entrance and heard the same words: "I'm so glad that it’s Wednesday and that you are here."

Those words took only seconds to say, but they changed everything. I never felt like I was simply filling a schedule. I felt valued, and so I wanted to give more. If patient care extended beyond normal hours, I stayed. If he needed help during lunch, I helped. I found extra ways to support him.

That's what kindness does. It creates commitment and loyalty that can't be demanded or purchased. Leadership presence isn't built solely through expertise or authority. It's built through the consistent experiences people have around you.

The Fork

Kindness also communicates something equally important: "I hear you." Recently, my husband gave me a gift that reminded me of this lesson.

For nearly 38 years, we've used the same Oneida silverware we received when we married. Those place settings meant much more than utensils to me. As a teenager, my grandmother and I saved half dollars at the bank until we earned each piece for my hope chest. Every fork carried a memory.

Over the years, several forks quietly disappeared — often traveling with my husband during his years as a salesman and never finding their way home. I mentioned more than once how disappointed I was. Not because of the forks themselves, but because of what they represented.

Then one day a package arrived. My husband had tracked down the discontinued Oneida pattern, ordered replacement forks and surprised me with them for Mother's Day. This gift brought tears to my eyes. Not because he replaced silverware. But because he listened, he remembered and he cared enough to act.

Leadership works the same way. People pay close attention to whether we notice what matters to them. The smallest thoughtful gesture often communicates the greatest respect.

The Fashion Founder

One of the most memorable leadership lessons I've heard came from someone whose career has influenced the global fashion industry.

During an interview hosted by the Association of Image Consultants International (AICI) USA chapter, Fern Mallis — the founder of New York Fashion Week — shared stories about decades of working alongside some of fashion's biggest names. She also spoke about emerging talent. But her most memorable advice wasn't about fashion. It was about character.

"Be nice," she said. "There is so much talent out there. Don't be a diva."

Then she held up her phone. Today, she explained, aspiring designers no longer need to be in Paris or New York City to build successful careers. Social media has made talent visible everywhere. Technical ability alone is no longer enough to stand out. Kindness is.

Like fashion, nearly every profession has become more competitive, more connected and more transparent. Skills matter, but character determines whether people want to work with you, recommend you or follow your leadership. That's the essence of personal brand.

The Personal Brand

A personal brand isn't created only by a polished LinkedIn profile, a compelling elevator pitch or carefully curated social media posts. It’s built from interactions — the “emotional residue” we leave with others after every conversation, every meeting and every decision.

So I find myself returning to these three lessons. Dr. Coverly taught me that appreciation creates extraordinary commitment. My husband reminded me that listening is one of the purest expressions of kindness. Fern Mallis reinforced that, in a world overflowing with talent, kindness is one of the few qualities that never goes out of style.

In the end, kindness isn't a soft skill at all. It may be one of the strongest leadership strategies we have.