How you use language is part of your personal and professional brand, indicating your authority, knowledge, ability to inspire and even level of self-confidence. Although you might not be conscious of it, every day your language influences who/what others think you are. So it’s important (and can literally pay!) to pay attention and “power up” your language by avoiding the use of filler words, self-demeaning statements and weak verbs.

Communications research has shown that the tendency to add qualifiers and weaken assertive language has a gender component: women tend to use phrases that indicate uncertainty and hesitancy more often when compared to men. This relates directly to verbs, which are the action words in sentences. Regardless of your gender identification, you want them to be strong in your professional life. For example…

“I Think”

This throwaway phrase is one I struggle with. “I think” doesn’t sound definitive, and it reduces the power of what you’re trying to say. “I think this would be a good option for you” sounds bleh — like you’re unsure or still pondering about the options under consideration. When you’re sure about something, don’t hedge. Show it. “This would be an excellent option for you” is stronger.

“I Need”

Consistently using this phrase can make your language sound dependent and pleading rather than powerful. “I need” makes you sound needy, which can be damaging in the long run if you’re in a position of authority. It’s possible to be polite while projecting power. “Please get this report to me by next Tuesday” is stronger than “I need this report by next Tuesday please.”

“I Want”

“I want” is similar to “I need.” It suggests that you’re wanting, lacking or unsure in some way. Telling your boss, “I want a raise,” is an emotional appeal that signals lack of confidence. Use a verb of conviction (“I believe” or “I’m convinced”) with your reasons: “I believe my performance during the last year makes a strong case for a raise.”

“I Guess”

“I guess” expresses tentativeness. If you aren’t sure of something (e.g., year-end results), that’s fine. Don’t lie or exaggerate. But you can reframe and state even tentative knowledge/information in a confident manner. Instead of “My guess is that our fiscal year-end results will be worse than last year” you can say, “We project lower year-end results compared to last year.”

“I Hope”

You might think “I hope” would inspire confidence, but it actually suggests that you feel you have little control over an outcome. Instead of saying, “I hope our team can put together a successful proposal to land the nonprofit grant,” say something like, “I know (or trust) our team can put together a proposal that will appeal to the grant funder.”

“I Suppose”

When you answer a comment or question with “I suppose so,” you’re really saying you’re just not engaged — you don’t care. When others see you as being indifferent or uncaring, this decreases your authority and influence. Even if you really don’t care about something (e.g., attending a particular meeting), find something positive to say. “I’m going because I want to hear what others think about that.”

Your language choices and patterns say a lot more than you think. Human brains are wired to hear extremely subtle variations in words and meaning. The small phrases you use every day can weaken or strengthen your power, confidence and leadership abilities, so choose your verbs carefully!