Be the Civility “Glue”
During the past two+ years the old work routines we took for granted have been profoundly disrupted and probably are gone forever. We’ve had to adjust to working with others in a mixture of settings: always in person, always remote and a hybrid of the two.
Even before COVID-19, we were struggling to be civil with one another. Research findings reported in “Civility in America 2019: Solutions for Tomorrow” that the vast majority of Americans (93%) identified incivility as a problem. And 68% classified it as a major problem. So how can we collectively do better?
What is Civility?
Civility is the act of showing regard for others by being polite. For example, you show civility when you speak kindly to someone who has hurt your feelings or when you hold the door for someone else. It’s about being mindful of not just yourself, but everyone around you. Civility means behaving in a manner that shows care for others. When we’re not civil with one another, whether we agree or not, bad things can happen.
Incivility doesn’t depend on setting. Whether in a remote, in-person or hybrid setting, it looks the same. Subtle slights. Outright interruptions. Belittling comments. Common discourtesies. Even complete disregard. For those on the receiving end this can lead to lower self-esteem, higher stress, and decreased job and life satisfaction. And remote interactions can make the problem seem invisible. (“Did he really say that to her during the video conference, or did I imagine it?”)
Boosting Your Civility Skills
So how can the tools of image management support your efforts to be civil in today’s workplace?
Be Engaged
Participate and show respect while attending meetings virtually. Plan ahead — yes, even if it means getting out of bed a few minutes early to put your appearance together before turning your camera on. Don’t multi-task during meetings, whether on camera or in person. Tending to email on your phone or surfing the Internet while someone is presenting is just plain rude. Listen and respond with verbal and nonverbal communication cues which send the message that you’re understanding and listening to what is being shared.
Use Your Voice
Be social and work to maintain and grow work relationships and friendships. Combat negativity and poor behavior with sincerity, positiveness and tact. Implement a “catch up” time or a “share one good thing” on the front end of your virtual meetings. Positive news about family, accomplishments and achievements staves off negativity and nurtures relationships. Short chats at the coffee pot might be gone, so look for other ways to accomplish the same social/bonding effects.
Appear Present
Use your voice for all its potential. Have you lost your self-awareness on how you talk with others? Make sure to address colleagues respectfully. Don’t yell or use profane language. Maintain a professional tone, using a melody of tones from low to high and a varying pace. Add pauses where periods and commas would fall in written communication. Also, don’t speak over others; if it’s appropriate, raise your hand to signal you wish to speak.
Maintain Your Visual Image
Whether client facing or not, or working in the office or at home, your role still should support your team, your clients and the brand of your company. Respect starts with being respectful to yourself. Define a workday appearance in dress and grooming that best represents what you want to achieve. For example, choose a comfortable sweater vs. a favorite sweatshirt. When on camera, participate from a space of minimal distraction, seated at a table/desk with the focal point on your face to upper chest. Avoid broadcasting your ceiling, a view up your nose or showcasing the room you’re sitting in.
To maintain civility, practice polite behavior. Be respectful of others, show empathy and extend kindness to them. Consider your own behaviors and their impact on others as well as your own reputation. Build your self-awareness and gauge your own civility behaviors in the workplace, wherever that is in your current life. Even if rudeness continues to grow around you, you can be mindful of your own behaviors and lead the charge to fight that trend and instill respect.
