Part 2 | Behavior: Influence Via Your Conduct

We’ve frequently used the word behavior in our three-part Image ABCs series and other postings. Now, in part 2, let’s explore some specifics.

Being Aware

We do these things daily. You know . . . go to a meeting, interact with team members/clients in person or on camera, answer the phone, present reports or address groups, send emails and texts . . . the list goes on and on.

Working with a coaching client recently, we considered this specifically. In one session we considered who she came in contact with or was seen by (i.e., her audiences). We began by looking at the influence she has when overseeing a specific monthly meeting she attends.

With a goal of growing awareness (which I like to call “strengthening your awareness muscle”), we defined her positive and really not so bad behaviors. As a seasoned professional she already had a lot of poise and polish, but we were looking for subtle behaviors she wanted to consider and work on eliminating. How could we take her influence from good to great? What would help her gain even more respect, generate more positive results and promote more fluid communication?

Developing Influential Behavior

Like my client, if you’re looking for ways to grow your own influential behavior it begins with YOU. Get brave about assessing your own behaviors. If this sounds intimidating to do alone, enlist the support of a mentor, a friend or a coach that specializes in making best impressions.

Start with where you are now. For example, have someone help you make a video of yourself in your next meeting/speech. (Of course, get permission from others who might happen to be in the recording!) Or record the “elevator introduction” that you give at the next meeting you attend. Or do the same with audio recordings to hear how you deliver vocally. Then study what you see and hear. What seems awkward or weak or even inconsiderate? Is something you do getting in the way?

Here are four areas of behavior to assess. What are the positive or negative influences you have on others and what impression do you make?

Correct Your Mindset

As you get to know and work with others, be aware of their personalities and how you really feel about them. You may not love how an individual addresses specific issues or how they take nine times longer than you would to explain something. In these and other instances, use a mental emergency adjustment to move your mind from negative to positive thinking. Focus on a positive quality the individual has or think of a positive phrase or word to assist in making a positive mental shift. This is important because where you are mentally will be visible to others in your behavior. You can’t hide it.

Know Your Body Language

Speaking of which, we know that the body doesn’t lie. Are you nonverbally in line with the communication that is taking place or your desired business outcome? Are you displaying open, “engaged” signals (legs uncrossed, arms open with palms exposed or relaxed at your side) or “closed” signals (arms folded, legs crossed, body turned away)? Are you leaning forward — aligned with positive attitudes and increased verbal output — or leaning backward/away, signaling dislike, negativity or dominance? It’s important to know if your nonverbal communication is part of why conversations shut down or people don’t seem to pay attention to you.

Use Your Voice

Your voice is a tool to be used in the tone and melody that it plays. Research has shown that spoken communication is processed in our brains for emotion first and then for logic. People won’t remember what you say to them unless what you say makes them feel something. Remember to breathe and invite listening by consciously using resonance, projection, pitch, pace and articulation. We’ve all read a message wrong because of the tone it was delivered in, or we’ve lost track of what was being said by unnecessary filler words like “um.” How your voice is heard really does matter.

Be Polite

There’s something very powerful about polite behavior. My observation over the past several years is that we work and live at such a fast pace that we’re focused mainly on ourselves and our own needs just to make it through the day. Whether it’s holding a door for someone else, being gracious while driving, or sharing a document with your coworker in a meeting, be aware of others and share credit or appreciation. Ultimately, politeness is simply about being respectful; it’s part of being a positive, influential person.

In the next issue of Image Matters News we’ll continue our ABCs journey by exploring how effective communication practices create a positive influence.