Influence and Your Inner Self
Over the course of this year we’ve written about influence, including how we can affect others by using our appearance, behavior and manners, and our communication skills. By developing and using these skills for creating influence, you have the ability to sway or alter an individual’s or group’s thoughts, beliefs and actions. These are powerful tools to help you achieve your objectives and grow your professional presence and personal brand.
But what about the inside? Your inner “self”? Although you might not have thought of it this way, you also influence yourself every day. And how you do that is part of growing a solid foundation that underpins your success and happiness.
What is the Inner Self?
The inner self is the core of a person’s identity. It’s influenced by a variety of factors, including your culture, your family, and the general society and environment you live in. Your inner self is part of your subconscious and it includes your values, beliefs and characteristics. It’s connected to your emotions and cognitive processes, and it affects your behavior, decision-making and sense of well-being.
So why, when you’re busy developing a powerful presence and personal brand, would you want to pay attention to this area of influence? Over the years, in our strategic image management work we’ve seen how the inner self affects all other areas and your growth in life.
Anyone can be taught how to walk into a room and make a smashing impression. But it’s the substance and motivation behind this “performance” that will ultimately sustain that impression over time. If you have problems with your inner self, they’ll show up by sabotaging your efforts to improve in other areas.
How can you positively influence your inner self? Here are some ideas to consider.
Your Inner Voice
The tone of your inner voice will reflect your emotions, behaviors and even your health. A negative inner voice can lead to depression, anxiety and excessive rumination. Positive self-talk has the opposite effect, supporting cognition, memory and learning. So you want to increase your awareness and be mindful of your inner voice.
What do you tell yourself and how do you say it? Learn to “catch, cancel and correct,” as I recently learned in a virtual mindset bootcamp with Amy Porterfield. Doing so will develop more positive self-talk and a better tone in your head. This, in turn, creates personal influence and room for opportunities, like my client Virgie…
“Kelly exposed me to tools that opened my eyes to some of my behavior and methods of interacting with others. Without her help, I never would have had the confidence and ability to take the leap into my new position.” – Virgie, CPA, Nonprofit President and CEO
Mindfulness Techniques
Meditation and other mindfulness activities can help a person connect with their inner self. These activities can also help with depression and anxiety, raise self-esteem and confidence, and improve relationships.
There are dozens of techniques that help to preserve and align the mind. A simple one that helps to clear the mind is to sit quietly and pay attention to just your breathing for five or 10 minutes. When a thought occurs, just note it and go back to paying attention to your breath. This will allow you to ultimately see that anything negative you tell yourself is just a story that can be changed whenever you wish. It takes practice, but any mindfulness technique will help you shape a positive inner voice.
Connecting With the Outer Self
Of course, the inner self doesn’t exist in a vacuum. The inner and outer self are connected and influence each other. How we present ourselves and how we feel about all that has a huge impact on our inner self and, in turn, its influence on how we behave in the world. It’s a never-ending circle of influence and effect.
Allow your outer self to support your inner self. Try to be less harsh with yourself and find things that support you both inside and out. For example, I’ve found a “must” for me when speaking in front of a group is to wear a jacket and heels. It makes all the difference in the world when I influence my inner self with my “suit of armor”!
If you’d like more information about influence and the inner self, check out our strategic image management work here at KDI Consulting, called The Hidden Image. Contact us direct.
